VULNERABILITY

12:18 AM

I wanted to start this off by saying that whatever you read past this does not negate the fact that I could beat your ass, but that defeats the purpose I guess.

There are plenty of reasons why someone would be hesitant to show vulnerability. For some, it stems from the playground teasing you just can never seem to forget. For others, it runs deep in familial dynamics. As you know, humans have a natural tendency to protect themselves however they need to. When your entire being, from your hair to your feet, is used for comedic relief, you have 2 options: joke back or cower. 

Of course, there are levels to this. 

And all that shit is cute until you realize that your inability to show yourself has left you with nothing but surface-level relationships and the distressing burden of dealing with every single problem that comes your way alone. You move through the world feeling as if no one knows who you really are - and they probably don’t. But no one can change that quicker than yourself. 

Ultimately, a fear of vulnerability is an indication of a fear of abandonment and rejection, which does sound like some bitch shit, yes. But when you think about how many people share that fear, it makes you wonder who decided it was some bitch shit? 

My personal experience with vulnerability has been one of avoidance. Obviously, there’s still some work to do. I could barely write most of these statements with ‘I’ because I can’t even pretend like the idea of certain people seeing a vulnerable side to me doesn’t make me want to bounce my forehead off the nearest hard surface. 

However, I’m coming to understand that the only way to stop thinking like this is to stop thinking about you. My willingness to show emotion is neither an indication of my weakness nor a sign of the next person’s strength and composure. 

And if I’m being honest, none of my aspirations will work if I can’t lay it all out on the line and communicate my innermost thoughts, no matter how ugly they are.

So what can we do? 

Be transparent with yourself and the people you care about maintaining a relationship with. No one is above communication, patience, and compassion. Practice personal comfortability and saying phrases like “that hurt my feelings” in the mirror without laughing. 

After all, if we have any chance of reversing the stigma around bitch shit, we all have to partake.

-JK